azalea-in-time:

When you go to a haunted house, it may seem like you’re being funny by trying to scare the actors or jump out at them when you go through a second time, but guess what? ITS NOT FUNNY.

You pay us to scare you. It is your choice to go, so don’t fucking go through if you’re going to ignore the rules and get too close to the actors as a ‘joke’.

These bruises happened because over the course of 4 hours, several people ignored the instructions that CLEARLY stated that they were to wait in the front room until told otherwise. Rather than listen, they ran into the next room and slammed into me- effectively throwing me into the wall. This didn’t only happen once. It happened ten times at LEAST.

Then we had this asshole who thought that once I ‘died’ for the haunt, he could pretend to kick me to see if I’d moved. I, being used to people abusing me- jumped back and slammed my head into the concrete wall.

YOU ARE NOT FUNNY BY BEING RUDE AT A HAUNTED HOUSE. WE ARE PAID ACTORS THAT YOU CHOOSE TO COME AND SEE PERFORM. YOU PAY US TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, SO DONT HIT US WHEN WE DO

I feel that this is relevant considering it is October and more Haunted Houses are opening up. I know it seems funny to scare the ‘monsters’ but all you do is hurt real people. So stop.

(via dramatically-dances-toward-girls)

I wouldn't be afraid of spiders if I could just talk to them, you know?

  • Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
  • Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
  • Me: We cool?
  • Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
  • Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
  • Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
  • Me: So...can I get out now?
  • Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
  • Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
  • Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.

pipilottirist:

stand-up-comic-gifs:

Morgan Murphy (x)

the most accurate description of male comedians

(via mrandmrsdursley)

awwww-cute:

My neighbor’s puppy found a hole in the fence, so he popped by to say hello yesterday

(via dramatically-dances-toward-girls)

spirkcantwerk:

This scene actually works better as stills

(Source: 90s90s90s, via dramatically-dances-toward-girls)

enlargers:

"can i ask you something?" my immediate reply says “go for it" but my mind has already gone through the seven stages of grief

(via areyoudreamingofbands)

8yrs:

faq:

Q: do u have a faq?
A: yes

(via pizza)

ixnay-on-the-oddk:

ludfin:

batsbatsbats

I SCREAMED IM SO HAPPY

(Source: felinekin, via youmefortomorrow)

playbunny:

that awesome feeling when you know that despite not talking to a friend everyday or even after a very long time that you’re both still cool

image

(via dramatically-dances-toward-girls)

icarly2007:

mom: i love you (:

me: Do not fall in love with people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people. 

(Source: 1985panties, via theincredibletwink)

Apparently it’s a thing to crochet sweaters for turtles

kyos-cock:

So I accidentally discovered this picture while i was looking for cute things to crochet and THERE ARE ENTIRE BLOGS DEDICATED TO TURTLE COZIES.

THEY LOOK SO CUTE THEY HAVE NORMAL ONES

THEY HAVE ONES THAT LOOK LIKE FUCKING BOWSER

THEY HAVE ONES SHAPED LIKE ANIMALS

THEY HAVE ENTIRE BLOGS DEDICATED TO MAKING YOUR TURTLES LOOK LIKE FOOD

THE PUMPKIN IS SO CUTE BUT THIS GEM IS MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:

BUT HOW DO YOU CHOOSE A FAVORITE WHEN THEY’RE ALL SO CUTE

(via mrandmrsdursley)

,,

i’ve never been more tired in my whole life

me every second of the day (via bootytbh)

(via ourladyofemos)

krystl-meth:

clarknokent:

thatonechick42:

littlecupcakenymph:

image

image

Oh.My.God. 

There ARE ACTUAL REAL MEN OUT THERE??!

THAT RESPECT WOMEN?

THAT ACCEPT “no” FOR AN ANSWER?

What.is.happening.

Quick, reblog this everywhere so we can learn and grow as a species!

Exactly the type of response guys should give when girls say no to anything, from dates-to sex.

RARE!

(via hilariousdumbdaleks)